I have shattered my world and am now hanging in the groundlessness of all. I kicked it all and felt no relief. The summer light felt grey and dense with dust and pain and fear, and I kept wanting to come back up for air that wasn’t stale.
No, I felt no relief, and the deep sadness of love lost hurt as much as the sharp vivid prick of fresh desire.
I marveled at the vastness of my heart, wondered how it could accommodate so much love and weariness, so much wanting and inertia, so much fear and yet such profound confidence that the very groundlessness of it all was the honest soil I was now treading upon.
I am both the sky and the endless fall.