A day like today I wish I could still fool myself and keep my heart all nice and cushy. But it no longer works. Something happens, the world touches me, my heart is raw and bruised, and all my habitual patterns, the nice interesting fabrications, strategies and protective layers my mind usually sets up, are transparent and unconvincing. And I am left with a tender heart, life so vivid and terrifying, so beautiful and sad, so soft and harsh at the same time. The genuine heart of sadness.
And the weird thing is that I am fine, I have never been more fine.